Although I haven't written in a while, I am certainly not going to stop making entries in this blog. I really do enjoy writing about lolita fashion and the things I like, even if I don't necessarily go about it in a "normal" way for a blog. However, I just haven't been able to really sit down and write something out, even if there are a million ideas tumbling around in my head!
Because, you see, as much as I love lolita fashion and being a lolita, it isn't the only important thing in my life. I take graduate school courses, I work full time, and have other obligations to family and friends. Wearing lolita fashion is a lot of fun--going to meetups is one of my most favourite-est ways to see my friends and make new ones--but if I have to work or do homework, well...then that needs to be done instead. I know too well how it feels to fail at something only because I didn't put enough effort forward, and I have resolved to not let myself waver and have to feel that way again.
In some ways, lolita fashion is a form of escapism for me. I am not a little girl any more, but wearing lolita fashion helps me feel that kind of blissful rapture again. In today's world, innocence is not encouraged or held precious--there is so much pressure to grow up faster, take on responsibilities now, and immerse oneself completely in the cold, hard "real world." So many times I have been chided for "not understanding how things work," told to "get my head out of the clouds," or lectured about how "adult women don't act like that." The kind of happiness that comes from just walking past someone's front yard full of beautiful roses, seeing someone freely dancing to the music from their iPod that no-one else can hear, or standing out in the rain until you're completely soaked and your eyelashes stick together is looked down on.
However, when I put up my hair in curled pigtails, step into a ribbon-bedecked one-piece, and adjust my petticoat, I feel electric. I don't care what other people might have to say. I smile at everyone and wave at those who pretend they're not staring in disbelief at my clothing. It's like my heart is sparkling brightly with neon-pink glitter. It doesn't matter what happened yesterday or what might happen tomorrow. Wearing lolita fashion gives me a confidence that I rarely feel otherwise--and the longer I have been a part of the fashion and the community, the more that kind of feeling bleeds into my life even when I'm dressed in my dirty jacket and faded jeans.
As wonderful as that feeling is, I can't ignore other parts of my life just because lolita makes me feel so fantastic. There are still classes to be attended, work to be done, and chores to be completed. Staying late at the office and then heading off to night-school, riding the unimaginably crowded bus home at night knowing I need to be at work bright and early the next morning sometimes leaves me without the energy to put my thoughts to paper. I sometimes stay up too late, reading the lolita fashion communities or Angelic Pretty's blog entries, but my mind just isn't in the right place to pen anything coherent. I keep going because I know that my courses at school and my job enable me to wear lolita--otherwise I would not have the funds or as much of the appreciation.
Obsession is dangerous no matter what the focus might be. Some people can only think about lolita fashion--wanting to wear it to any occasion, no matter how appropriate; needing to own the newest item, regardless of whether they can afford it; and insisting on attending every meetup, even if there are other things they ought to be doing instead. It's easy to get hooked on almost anything, but it's very important to take a step back and map out some priorities to keep yourself on track. I know that if I buy that newest print now, I won't have money for rent at the end of the month--and that's unacceptable for me. Will it matter how many pretty dresses I own if I am evicted? Absolutely not.
There is obviously a little bit of lolita in every part of my life, from the teddy bear-bedecked teacup at my desk at work to the small bows that might be perched atop my perhaps slightly more "business-like" hairstyle. I still keep a close eye on the lolita communities, typically browsing posts as I eat my sandwich for lunch, and I can't keep from daydreaming about wished-for coordinations when I'm supposed to be calculating the future value of an annuity. However, there are always consequences, and I'd like to avoid the most unpleasant of those if possible. Otherwise I'm sure I'll have even less time and energy to devote to the style I adore so much!
Friday, November 6, 2009
Sunday, October 25, 2009
Outfit Snap: I ♥ Shirololi!
October has been a crazy month for me! I have really neglected this blog, but I haven't forgotten about it! However, I've been working eight or more hours six days a week...and spending another six hours in class over the week...so I have had very little time to myself. I keep thinking of lolita-related topics I want to address here, but I can't seem to pull my thoughts together by the time I get home from work.
However, I had this weekend off, so I decided to have as much fun as possible! At the end of last year I purchased a ball-jointed doll from Rosette Doll. Since her arrival, I've really wanted to attend a ball-jointed doll meetup with the Chicago community. They seemed like nice people. (And I wanted to see more dolls in person!) So I decided to attend a ball-jointed-doll meetup on Saturday.
I really wanted to wear lolita fashion over the weekend, but going to the meetup meant I had to head out to the suburbs. That is a trip involving several trains and an eventual pick-up from the station that's about half and hour from my mother's house. Also, it's been raining like crazy. I decided to take a chance and wear lolita, so I stuffed my backpack until it looked ready to burst (frills and petticoats will do that to a bag...) and trekked out to the suburbs with my fiancé.
I don't regret it at all! I LOVE getting dressed up, and this is one of my favourite dresses, so I can't be in anything but a wonderful mood when I wear it! The doll meetup ended up taking place at the local Japanese market, and I ate lunch at the food court beforehand. I've been going to this market since I was a toddler, and I can never pass up the chance for cheap, decent sushi. It was nice to be back there when wearing lolita, because there are several employees who like to talk to me and get disappointed if I'm in "normal" clothes. :3 (Sometimes I wish I could dress them up! They're such cuuuuuuute girls!! n_n)
I don't like that my sweater doesn't match, but I didn't worry about it too much. It was much too cold outside to go without! I had to leave early to change before the evening, though. I work at an observatory, and lolita skirts plus being up inside the dome equals far too much opportunity for people to look up my skirt. :/ And it's COLD out there!
However, I had this weekend off, so I decided to have as much fun as possible! At the end of last year I purchased a ball-jointed doll from Rosette Doll. Since her arrival, I've really wanted to attend a ball-jointed doll meetup with the Chicago community. They seemed like nice people. (And I wanted to see more dolls in person!) So I decided to attend a ball-jointed-doll meetup on Saturday.
I really wanted to wear lolita fashion over the weekend, but going to the meetup meant I had to head out to the suburbs. That is a trip involving several trains and an eventual pick-up from the station that's about half and hour from my mother's house. Also, it's been raining like crazy. I decided to take a chance and wear lolita, so I stuffed my backpack until it looked ready to burst (frills and petticoats will do that to a bag...) and trekked out to the suburbs with my fiancé.
I don't regret it at all! I LOVE getting dressed up, and this is one of my favourite dresses, so I can't be in anything but a wonderful mood when I wear it! The doll meetup ended up taking place at the local Japanese market, and I ate lunch at the food court beforehand. I've been going to this market since I was a toddler, and I can never pass up the chance for cheap, decent sushi. It was nice to be back there when wearing lolita, because there are several employees who like to talk to me and get disappointed if I'm in "normal" clothes. :3 (Sometimes I wish I could dress them up! They're such cuuuuuuute girls!! n_n)
I don't like that my sweater doesn't match, but I didn't worry about it too much. It was much too cold outside to go without! I had to leave early to change before the evening, though. I work at an observatory, and lolita skirts plus being up inside the dome equals far too much opportunity for people to look up my skirt. :/ And it's COLD out there!
Thursday, October 8, 2009
Outfit Snap: Autumn's First Crafternoon
This past Sunday was a Crafternoon, as the first Sunday of the month! I really adore these meetups. Even though there is always an intention to partake in a craft, usually it just involves hanging out and enjoying each other's company. We spent a good portion of the afternoon crammed onto the couches of our friends' house, watching Ghostbusters and later Sleeping Beauty. Due to the general nature of the Crafternoon, I try not to be overdressed. It's no fun to be left out due to worrying too much about your clothing.
I wore my favourite dress, but I didn't necessarily coordinate it in the best manner I could have. Instead, I just wore this pink, bow-bedecked Angelic Pretty one-piece with white tights, pink shoes, and pink hairbows. I also had a pink sweater that I spent a good portion of the day in, but I took it off for picture since it's fairly shapeless.
My petticoat is still in need of repairs. I really ought to replace it, but I keep thinking that mine can just be fixed. I suppose that's my next mission... although I'm not sure what kind of petticoat I'd replace mine with, anyway. I have a custom extra-poof petticoat from In the Starlight, although I've been considering one of the Malco Modes petticioats (the models sold by Candy Violet). I do like poof, but I'm not so sure of my ability to adjust any necessary adjusting...
I wore my favourite dress, but I didn't necessarily coordinate it in the best manner I could have. Instead, I just wore this pink, bow-bedecked Angelic Pretty one-piece with white tights, pink shoes, and pink hairbows. I also had a pink sweater that I spent a good portion of the day in, but I took it off for picture since it's fairly shapeless.
My petticoat is still in need of repairs. I really ought to replace it, but I keep thinking that mine can just be fixed. I suppose that's my next mission... although I'm not sure what kind of petticoat I'd replace mine with, anyway. I have a custom extra-poof petticoat from In the Starlight, although I've been considering one of the Malco Modes petticioats (the models sold by Candy Violet). I do like poof, but I'm not so sure of my ability to adjust any necessary adjusting...
Sunday, September 27, 2009
On Being Lolita: Lucky Pack Lessons
Despite my historic lack of success with lucky packs, I couldn't resist the recent lucky packs offered by BABY. I tried; I really did, but I thought my little sister was going to order one and I just had to get one for myself. We're always trying to acquire matching items, although we're not as successful as we'd like to be. I thought that with matching lucky packs we'd have at least some kind of chance for more matching items, but she didn't end up ordering one.
And, as I actually did anticipate, I don't care much for the contents of mine! Oh well~ It was still nice to get a package in the mail--especially one that contained something lolita fashion-related--after such a long period of having absolutely no spending money. (I love my job, even though I've been working a lot of overtime lately.)
I ordered the Snow Dot set, which was guaranteed to have either a Snow Dot jumperskirt or one-piece, then a random cutsew and random hair accessory.
I thought I would get a t-shirt, since that is the kind of cutsew that most people appear to have received, but that didn't end up happening. (I was, stupidly, looking forward to a t-shirt to wear with my jeans...) Instead, my cutsew ended being a highly-shirred pink top with rows of lace. It's cute, but anything with all-around shirring looks incredibly awkward and ill-fitting on me.
My hair accessory ended up being a really cute headband with a ruffle of black eyelet lace. On the right side there are two tiny bows of grosgrain ribbon~ It's adorable, but I never wear black! I'll probably pawn it off on my little sister, since she wears black and white almost exclusively.
The final piece was the Snow Dot jumperskirt, which is an absolutely lovely design, in their dark pink "cherry" colorway. I'm torn about this item. I really, really like the jumperskirt itself. The design of the Snow Dot series is why I ordered this lucky pack. However, the color is so dark that I don't think I'll really wear it very much. Unless I coordinated it entirely with white, I'd have to buy new items just to match it--and they wouldn't match anything else I own. I like to keep my things in a general scheme so they coordinate with each other--it makes my wardrobe feel much bigger than it actually is. It's disappointing to want to wear an outfit and think "Oh, darn--I need *something* to complete this..."
Maybe I've learned my lesson this time around with the lucky packs. ...Or maybe I haven't! I always think about the deals I might receive instead of the disappointments I've had in the past~
And, as I actually did anticipate, I don't care much for the contents of mine! Oh well~ It was still nice to get a package in the mail--especially one that contained something lolita fashion-related--after such a long period of having absolutely no spending money. (I love my job, even though I've been working a lot of overtime lately.)
I ordered the Snow Dot set, which was guaranteed to have either a Snow Dot jumperskirt or one-piece, then a random cutsew and random hair accessory.
I thought I would get a t-shirt, since that is the kind of cutsew that most people appear to have received, but that didn't end up happening. (I was, stupidly, looking forward to a t-shirt to wear with my jeans...) Instead, my cutsew ended being a highly-shirred pink top with rows of lace. It's cute, but anything with all-around shirring looks incredibly awkward and ill-fitting on me.
My hair accessory ended up being a really cute headband with a ruffle of black eyelet lace. On the right side there are two tiny bows of grosgrain ribbon~ It's adorable, but I never wear black! I'll probably pawn it off on my little sister, since she wears black and white almost exclusively.
The final piece was the Snow Dot jumperskirt, which is an absolutely lovely design, in their dark pink "cherry" colorway. I'm torn about this item. I really, really like the jumperskirt itself. The design of the Snow Dot series is why I ordered this lucky pack. However, the color is so dark that I don't think I'll really wear it very much. Unless I coordinated it entirely with white, I'd have to buy new items just to match it--and they wouldn't match anything else I own. I like to keep my things in a general scheme so they coordinate with each other--it makes my wardrobe feel much bigger than it actually is. It's disappointing to want to wear an outfit and think "Oh, darn--I need *something* to complete this..."
Maybe I've learned my lesson this time around with the lucky packs. ...Or maybe I haven't! I always think about the deals I might receive instead of the disappointments I've had in the past~
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
Sweet Treats: Macarons
There seems to hardly be a dessert more iconic in lolita fashion than the macaron. (A "macaroon" is an entirely different kind of cookie, and doesn't feature in anything lolita fashion-related!) Once featured in the Angelic Pretty series "Dreaming Macaron," the popularity of these tiny pastries REALLY took off! When not appearing tucked into prints on lolita garments, these puffy discs can be seen in a multitude of colors as sweets jewelry. They're also a common motif for deco projects.
Personally, I love eating AND making macarons, although it isn't an easy task! Macarons are very delicate, and it takes a lot of patience to prepare the ingredients, incorporate everything just right, and actually bake the halves that will form the sandwich. When I make macarons, I spend a lot of time sifting almond flour until no lumps remain, then carefully folding in the egg whites--which have to be given a few days to age, and MUST be used at room temperature. These are not the kinds of pastries to be made on last-minute notice.
Traditionally, the flavor of a macaron is dictated by the filling, although the pastry itself is colored appropriately. Personally, when I make mine I like to flavor the cookies just a bit with a few drops of extract. Some of my favourite flavor combinations are rose cookies with strawberry, raspberry, or lingonberry jam~ Jam isn't a particularly traditional filling, but I don't like most buttery, frosting-type creams; I feel like they overpower the actual pastry.
However, sometimes it's less stressful to quell a macaron craving with a trip to the bakery~ These small desserts have become very popular in recent years. In Chicago I keep hearing about more and more bakeries trying their hand at these tiny cookies.
When I buy macarons, I go to Bittersweet Pastry Shop. They're right in my neighborhood, and their macarons are quite good--crisp, not overfilled, and with the appropriately cute "foot." (That's the crinkled edge--all good macarons have a foot; it means that the top is crispier than the chewy inside. When the balance is right, it's delicious!) They're certainly not the BEST macarons I've ever had, but sometimes it's worth it to spend a few dollars on something tasty instead of spending several days to make them myself. The chocolate macarons are much better deal than the larger, flavored macarons--$16 for one pound, as opposed to $3-$4 per cookie~
Macarons make a lovely addition to tea-time. They both look and taste fancy, and when made or purchased in pastel-colored flavors like rose or violet, it seems that no dessert could be more ladylike! There are few things prettier than a display of multi-colored macarons atop a china plate...although that's always a fleeting moment for me; they're too tempting!
Personally, I love eating AND making macarons, although it isn't an easy task! Macarons are very delicate, and it takes a lot of patience to prepare the ingredients, incorporate everything just right, and actually bake the halves that will form the sandwich. When I make macarons, I spend a lot of time sifting almond flour until no lumps remain, then carefully folding in the egg whites--which have to be given a few days to age, and MUST be used at room temperature. These are not the kinds of pastries to be made on last-minute notice.
Traditionally, the flavor of a macaron is dictated by the filling, although the pastry itself is colored appropriately. Personally, when I make mine I like to flavor the cookies just a bit with a few drops of extract. Some of my favourite flavor combinations are rose cookies with strawberry, raspberry, or lingonberry jam~ Jam isn't a particularly traditional filling, but I don't like most buttery, frosting-type creams; I feel like they overpower the actual pastry.
However, sometimes it's less stressful to quell a macaron craving with a trip to the bakery~ These small desserts have become very popular in recent years. In Chicago I keep hearing about more and more bakeries trying their hand at these tiny cookies.
When I buy macarons, I go to Bittersweet Pastry Shop. They're right in my neighborhood, and their macarons are quite good--crisp, not overfilled, and with the appropriately cute "foot." (That's the crinkled edge--all good macarons have a foot; it means that the top is crispier than the chewy inside. When the balance is right, it's delicious!) They're certainly not the BEST macarons I've ever had, but sometimes it's worth it to spend a few dollars on something tasty instead of spending several days to make them myself. The chocolate macarons are much better deal than the larger, flavored macarons--$16 for one pound, as opposed to $3-$4 per cookie~
Macarons make a lovely addition to tea-time. They both look and taste fancy, and when made or purchased in pastel-colored flavors like rose or violet, it seems that no dessert could be more ladylike! There are few things prettier than a display of multi-colored macarons atop a china plate...although that's always a fleeting moment for me; they're too tempting!
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
Reading Corner: Snow Flower and the Secret Fan
I will admit immediately that this book really doesn't connect well to lolita fashion. It's a modern novel, written in 2005, and it takes place in China during the 1800s. There's nothing resembling lolita fashion in any stretch, and the only focus on beauty is that of bound feet.
The first time I read this book was several years ago. It had just been published, and my Nana had read it for her book club. She was so enthralled by the tale of friendship and the "secret" world of women that she insisted I read it as well. At first, I worried I wouldn't like it, but it is truly an engaging tale that was very hard to put down--even for a moment! Recently I decided to re-read it, as I had found myself musing over vaguely remembered details.
The story itself is the tale of friendship between two girls who grow up together in a long-term "emotional marriage" of friendship. As a foolish daydreamer, I found the idea of having an "old same" fascinating, likening it to my relationship with my best friend (as we became friends even earlier than did Lily and Snow Flower). It makes me wish that we had a secret messages passed back and forth--we could read through them an reminisce as old women.
Additionally, I find the concept of nu shu a fascinating one. To think that these women, cooped up in their homes with reshaped feet unsuitable for activity, taught themselves to read and write is amazing! They all lived hard lives, with more sorrow than happiness, and this gave them a way to reach out to other women who could offer support and had endured the same hardships. Considering how isolated they were often kept from families and friends, it seems almost unimaginable how tough it must have been for those who were not high-class enough to be literate in nu shu--how could they tell their mothers and sisters about their lives?
After turning the final page, I am hardly envious of these women's lives. I appreciate the stories they have to tell, which is so different from that which I am used to hearing of or thinking about, but I feel lucky that my own life lacks those or similar hardships. It is a wonderful thing to live in a world where I can make my own choices, own my own property, obtain an education, and have many opportunities open to me.
The first time I read this book was several years ago. It had just been published, and my Nana had read it for her book club. She was so enthralled by the tale of friendship and the "secret" world of women that she insisted I read it as well. At first, I worried I wouldn't like it, but it is truly an engaging tale that was very hard to put down--even for a moment! Recently I decided to re-read it, as I had found myself musing over vaguely remembered details.
The story itself is the tale of friendship between two girls who grow up together in a long-term "emotional marriage" of friendship. As a foolish daydreamer, I found the idea of having an "old same" fascinating, likening it to my relationship with my best friend (as we became friends even earlier than did Lily and Snow Flower). It makes me wish that we had a secret messages passed back and forth--we could read through them an reminisce as old women.
Additionally, I find the concept of nu shu a fascinating one. To think that these women, cooped up in their homes with reshaped feet unsuitable for activity, taught themselves to read and write is amazing! They all lived hard lives, with more sorrow than happiness, and this gave them a way to reach out to other women who could offer support and had endured the same hardships. Considering how isolated they were often kept from families and friends, it seems almost unimaginable how tough it must have been for those who were not high-class enough to be literate in nu shu--how could they tell their mothers and sisters about their lives?
After turning the final page, I am hardly envious of these women's lives. I appreciate the stories they have to tell, which is so different from that which I am used to hearing of or thinking about, but I feel lucky that my own life lacks those or similar hardships. It is a wonderful thing to live in a world where I can make my own choices, own my own property, obtain an education, and have many opportunities open to me.
Sunday, September 20, 2009
On Being Lolita: Is It a Lifestyle?
I do not consider myself a "lifestyle lolita." This might seem odd, considering that I love eating sweets, drink tea excessively, abhor hard labor, fail miserably at athletics, enjoy learning about and trying old-fashioned fancy work, read Victorian novels, announce my advocacy for common decency, and try my best to be a proper young lady. My house is decorated in my tastes, with lots of white and pink--and rose motifs on my sheet sets and several pink quilts. The rice cooker we use almost every night is an official Hello Kitty product--just like my television, DVD player, some dishes, and several items in our bathroom. Even at this point in my life, I still indulge in fairy tales and think about living in a world that is a wonderful dream.
I am not a "lifestyle lolita" because this is how I have always been. I was this way before I wore lolita fashion. I will be this way whenever I no longer wear lolita fashion. I carry a rose-tinged romantic dream in my heart.
Thus, I do not object to the ultimate goal of those who call for a "lifestyle" to accompany the fashion. There is nothing wrong with wanting to live beautifully--if it enhances your enjoyment of life, embrace it! Suit your own tastes and support your own values. If you aren't harming yourself or anyone else, you may as well enjoy what you have while you can have it--otherwise it is squandered.
However, I criticize the concept of a "lolita lifestyle." The typical "lifestyle" that comes to mind is one in which a lolita eats only sweets, drinks only hot tea, does lady's fancy work for pastimes (such as embroidery or tatting), avoids physical exertion, and decorates anywhere that can bear decoration with "cute" things. This is a blending of several extremes of misinterpreted Victoriana and the lives of the 18th century aristocracy--usually heavily influenced by court ways at Versailles. There is also a dash of the Japanese cultural obsession with "cute." There is nothing uniquely pulled from the fashion style it is associated with.
None of these things are exclusively connected to lolita fashion. None of these things are really represented in the fashion itself--especially not when early lolita designs were evolving and separating from the "pink house" styles. There have been prints incorporating fairy tales, tea-time, Alice in Wonderland, etc.--which is perfectly normal, as these have all served as inspiration for designers of lolita fashion. However, these designers have been equally inspired by fruits (not the fashion--the edibles), crosses, churches, mermaids, and pirates--none of which are considered as part of a "lolita lifestyle."
My criticism of the label of "lolita lifestyle" is three-fold. To begin with, it bears nothing to call its own. As I mentioned, many concepts are pulled from Victoriana--although without historical accuracy, which I attribute to a lack of research due to an initial obsession of the traditions at face-value. Other habits tend more towards the court-life of aristocrats, with formality and extravagance of certain customs--but, again, without in-depth considerations. As lolita fashion is Japanese, there are often Japanese cultural aspects added in (specifically those related to "cute")--usually the most thoroughly-incorporated. I believe this is because many lolita have or once had interest in Japanese culture as a whole; thus more information was looked up and noted about the involved Japanese customs or inspirations.
Additionally, "lolita lifestyle" ignores all sub-styles of lolita fashion other than sweet lolita. The touted "lolita lifestyle" is much too childish for most classic lolita. Although these young ladies may appreciate many of the Victorian aspects from the lifestyle, it would not be fitting for them to eat cake all day or decorate their homes with stuffed animals--were they trying to "act" their clothing, their pastimes would be more refined and elegant. And what of the gothic lolita? Their attire (and often their preferences towards the dark and macabre, hence their clothing tastes) is better suited to a dark, candle-lit cavern with a midnight "breakfast" served atop a closed coffin--as was once addressed briefly in a humorous one-page article of the Gothic & Lolita Bible. Punk lolita, rebels at heart, would be more likely to upset a tea party than sit quietly for it. (These are all stereotypical descriptions for emphasis.)
However, my deepest-felt objection to the "lolita lifestyle" is that it is simply a rehashing and expansion of the ideals of the character Momoko from Takemoto Novala's Kamikaze Girls (Shimotsuma Monogatari). Momoko is obsessed with "Rococo," mistaking the style of art and design for a time period. She incorporates several shallow aspects of Victorian culture as well, although her focus is 18th century France. She eats only sweets, disdains athleticism, and lies to and cheats her foolish father to acquire money to spend on her wardrobe. Although the book is very enjoyable, I don't think people should restrict themselves to a fictional character's ideals. One person cannot be dictate a fashion's associated lifestyle.
Thankfully most "lifestyle lolita" don't exist solely on Momoko's ideals, but it is clear that she has set the example. Novala's other writings sometimes expand on this subject, as he has many thoughts on what a lolita should and should not be, but he places emphasis on doing lolita because it is what YOU want, not what society insists on. With this in mind, drones of Momoko-clones blindly following what she had set forth would certainly not be his purpose for writing Kamikaze Girls. Insisting that lolita fashion has a well-defined ideal of a lifestyle is only true if Novala's writings are to be considered. There is not much else that focuses on this topic other than input from those who follow those ideas--no other source insists on a "lifestyle."
Thus I believe that the label of "lolita lifestyle" is misleading. It would be better said as "living romantically" or "Momoko lifestyle." Either is more suitable depending on the inspiration for the person attempting to live such a life--although it should be noted that even the character Momoko followed her Rococo-dusted ways before discovering lolita fashion. That said, there's nothing wrong with taking inspiration from a book! There's nothing wrong with filling your life with beautiful things! There's no reason to be ashamed of appreciating old-fashioned aspects of other cultures, or from mish-mashing things you like together! It's your life, and even though others can tell you how to live it, you don't have to listen to them.
Ultimately, the "lolita lifestyle" offers nothing uniquely and absolutely connected to the fashion, and that is why I dislike the phrase.
I am not a "lifestyle lolita" because this is how I have always been. I was this way before I wore lolita fashion. I will be this way whenever I no longer wear lolita fashion. I carry a rose-tinged romantic dream in my heart.
Thus, I do not object to the ultimate goal of those who call for a "lifestyle" to accompany the fashion. There is nothing wrong with wanting to live beautifully--if it enhances your enjoyment of life, embrace it! Suit your own tastes and support your own values. If you aren't harming yourself or anyone else, you may as well enjoy what you have while you can have it--otherwise it is squandered.
However, I criticize the concept of a "lolita lifestyle." The typical "lifestyle" that comes to mind is one in which a lolita eats only sweets, drinks only hot tea, does lady's fancy work for pastimes (such as embroidery or tatting), avoids physical exertion, and decorates anywhere that can bear decoration with "cute" things. This is a blending of several extremes of misinterpreted Victoriana and the lives of the 18th century aristocracy--usually heavily influenced by court ways at Versailles. There is also a dash of the Japanese cultural obsession with "cute." There is nothing uniquely pulled from the fashion style it is associated with.
None of these things are exclusively connected to lolita fashion. None of these things are really represented in the fashion itself--especially not when early lolita designs were evolving and separating from the "pink house" styles. There have been prints incorporating fairy tales, tea-time, Alice in Wonderland, etc.--which is perfectly normal, as these have all served as inspiration for designers of lolita fashion. However, these designers have been equally inspired by fruits (not the fashion--the edibles), crosses, churches, mermaids, and pirates--none of which are considered as part of a "lolita lifestyle."
My criticism of the label of "lolita lifestyle" is three-fold. To begin with, it bears nothing to call its own. As I mentioned, many concepts are pulled from Victoriana--although without historical accuracy, which I attribute to a lack of research due to an initial obsession of the traditions at face-value. Other habits tend more towards the court-life of aristocrats, with formality and extravagance of certain customs--but, again, without in-depth considerations. As lolita fashion is Japanese, there are often Japanese cultural aspects added in (specifically those related to "cute")--usually the most thoroughly-incorporated. I believe this is because many lolita have or once had interest in Japanese culture as a whole; thus more information was looked up and noted about the involved Japanese customs or inspirations.
Additionally, "lolita lifestyle" ignores all sub-styles of lolita fashion other than sweet lolita. The touted "lolita lifestyle" is much too childish for most classic lolita. Although these young ladies may appreciate many of the Victorian aspects from the lifestyle, it would not be fitting for them to eat cake all day or decorate their homes with stuffed animals--were they trying to "act" their clothing, their pastimes would be more refined and elegant. And what of the gothic lolita? Their attire (and often their preferences towards the dark and macabre, hence their clothing tastes) is better suited to a dark, candle-lit cavern with a midnight "breakfast" served atop a closed coffin--as was once addressed briefly in a humorous one-page article of the Gothic & Lolita Bible. Punk lolita, rebels at heart, would be more likely to upset a tea party than sit quietly for it. (These are all stereotypical descriptions for emphasis.)
However, my deepest-felt objection to the "lolita lifestyle" is that it is simply a rehashing and expansion of the ideals of the character Momoko from Takemoto Novala's Kamikaze Girls (Shimotsuma Monogatari). Momoko is obsessed with "Rococo," mistaking the style of art and design for a time period. She incorporates several shallow aspects of Victorian culture as well, although her focus is 18th century France. She eats only sweets, disdains athleticism, and lies to and cheats her foolish father to acquire money to spend on her wardrobe. Although the book is very enjoyable, I don't think people should restrict themselves to a fictional character's ideals. One person cannot be dictate a fashion's associated lifestyle.
Thankfully most "lifestyle lolita" don't exist solely on Momoko's ideals, but it is clear that she has set the example. Novala's other writings sometimes expand on this subject, as he has many thoughts on what a lolita should and should not be, but he places emphasis on doing lolita because it is what YOU want, not what society insists on. With this in mind, drones of Momoko-clones blindly following what she had set forth would certainly not be his purpose for writing Kamikaze Girls. Insisting that lolita fashion has a well-defined ideal of a lifestyle is only true if Novala's writings are to be considered. There is not much else that focuses on this topic other than input from those who follow those ideas--no other source insists on a "lifestyle."
Thus I believe that the label of "lolita lifestyle" is misleading. It would be better said as "living romantically" or "Momoko lifestyle." Either is more suitable depending on the inspiration for the person attempting to live such a life--although it should be noted that even the character Momoko followed her Rococo-dusted ways before discovering lolita fashion. That said, there's nothing wrong with taking inspiration from a book! There's nothing wrong with filling your life with beautiful things! There's no reason to be ashamed of appreciating old-fashioned aspects of other cultures, or from mish-mashing things you like together! It's your life, and even though others can tell you how to live it, you don't have to listen to them.
Ultimately, the "lolita lifestyle" offers nothing uniquely and absolutely connected to the fashion, and that is why I dislike the phrase.
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